I'm Riiich Beeyatch!!!!!

Well I knew fortune smiles on the super awesome. After years of wondering when my ship was going to come in, today is the day. I received not one, not two, not three, but FIVE emails of people that want to give me large sums of money. The following is a list of my super-supporters:

$800,000 - Alexandre Bruce - Account Officer, Cotonou, Benin Republic (where in the world?)
Cutting me in on a deal he has been waiting for for quite awhile. I am just glad he decided to share the wealth with me. That was nice of him.

$800,000 - Dr.Paul Ugbagu - Cotonou, Benin Republic
I wonder if he knows Mr. Bruce. either way, I will have to send them both a Christmas card for their random generosity.

$1,500 - Mr Ferdinand Peter - Saudi Arabia
More like Mr. Cheap Ass. Don't you know what kind of wad I am slinging today. Well, this batch will give me something to wipe with.

$7.2M - Barrister Poku Ella - Cotonou, Benin Republic
Booyah! I was randomly selected as next of kin since Poku couldn't track down the actual next of kin. Obviously I will not be using these lazy ass lawyer services. Guess which republic in West Africa this white boy is about to buy? Bonus if you said Cotonou which means 'the mouth of the river of death' in the Fon language. On second thought, maybe I will just buy an arena football team.

$1,955,482.16 - Matilda Peterson - London
This is actually the dollar conversion from £1,000,000. I am not sure how they came to that winning entry since I don't even think they use pounds in Britain anymore. Maybe I could get the winnings in shillings, or better yet, threepennies.

All of this good fortune shining on me gives me a grand total of:

$10,756,982.16

My solid gold toilet is on order now...