BrainMatters

Surprise Party Video

2008-09-20T16:05:00.003-04:00

Here is some video I shot of Zely's mother and uncle's surprise birthday party.

Surprise Party - Luau Theme from Brandon Henry on Vimeo.

My blog has become disjointed.

2008-08-27T23:02:00.002-04:00

So I realize I haven't posted in more than a month, but I have a really good excuse. I have been really, really busy with work. We are getting geared up to finish a project and everyone is a bit strung out due to the tight schedule and lack of hours. Top that off with the other projects I have to think about - main one being a speaking engagement in Vegas that I haven't prepped for. I really haven't had much time to blog; much less much to blog about. I did go tubing in West Virginia for the first time and must say it was quite enjoyable, minus the crazy amount of paddling we had to do.

Let me explain, due to the lack of resources (I assume) the company said they would not pick anyone up after 5:30 pm unless each person paid $10. Now given the fact that there were at least 500 people still on the water at 5:30 - 6 pm, you would think this company had a building made of solid gold encrusted with diamond baby eyes, but it turns out that threat was just in place to try to get people to comply with the 5:30 rule.

It is actually much harder to get to the rendezvous point than it would seem. At about 5 pm we thought due to the 'not-to-scale' map on the wrist band they provide, we definitely were camping out in Deliverance town since we had not even reached the halfway point yet.

Long story short, we made it to the bus without penalty and returned to the safety of our gang-infested neighborhood without the 10 dollar penance. For a first time out on a tubing excursion, I would definitely do it again.

Next time we will rent 2 floating coolers for beer though.

Today I turn 36

2008-07-15T23:36:00.003-04:00

'Tis true. As of July 16, I will be another year wiser. This sums it up in a sick and funny way. These comics are hilarious, I recommend anyone with a warped sense of humor to go check them out if you haven't already. I originally posted the picture but chickened out since the 3 people that read this blog would cut me loose and not bail a brother out if I got sued.

The best gift I have received this year (so far, since it is the first) is the hardcover collection of these comics. Great collectors item which can be found at this Amazon link. Thanks again Scott.

PokerStars, why hast thou forsaken me???

2008-07-13T00:55:00.002-04:00

So I have this image of myself as a pretty decent poker player. I usually did ok in my recreation league. Well I made it to the big table once. And I usually do pretty good in Vegas, although the last few times have been a bit rough. I can even guess who is probably going to win on any given broadcast of WPT after they show the odds of each hand (that's World Poker Tour for those who are not in the know). I even have my own poker table and chips - complete with lockable metal case in the off chance that someone breaks in and wants to try and fool the casinos in Vegas.

I thought I would get back into the PokerStars.net action and give it a go. Poker it would seem, actually takes a bit of skill and a whole lot of luck. Both of which I was sorely lacking tonight when I went 0 - 25 hands! Of course I did have a couple of pretty decent hands like a queen high flush which lost to a king high flush, or the straight that also lost to the flush, and even the aces and eights combo that of course lost to the three of a kind fours.

I wonder if the uninstall will go as quickly as the install did.

My o' my, where has the time gone?

2008-07-07T22:35:00.004-04:00

So what the heck have I been doing? Let's see:

Started playing tennis again. Found someone on this side of town - who likes to go out and do athletic type exercises. So rather than play Pro Tennis on Xbox360, I am actually playing REAL tennis on a regular basis. Something I haven't done since my undergraduate days at K-State. You will be happy to know I have not lost my mad skillz.
Tiger Woods 07 on Xbox360. I don't want to get burned out of this exercise thing too quickly. I must say, these f-ing games where you have to grind and build up skills that take forever are a pain in the ass. I think I could actually become a real golf pro in the time it is taking me to level up my virtual self. But let's not get too excited, I got Wimbledon to think about next year.
Painting - both digital and oil. Oil paints are currently NOT on the top of my friends list. It is kind of relaxing and I think once I find some decent paint brushes I might do a little better. Tonight, I did opt for the non-toxic, non-messy version and digitally painted one of the photos I took in Puerto Rico.
Fought the little kids for that coveted seat at a showing of Wall-E and lost. I blame a trick knee I have developed over the last week or so of tennis domination. Hey you can only kick so much ass at a time.

By the way I can beat up 24 five year olds at a time. How many can you take?

Buenos Dias Puerto Rico

2008-06-01T13:40:00.002-04:00

So we made it to Puerto Rico. The trip was long with a stop in Atlanta. So far the trip is going great. I am at the hotel right now and we are getting ready to walk down to the beach for a kayak tour that will include the Bioluminescent Bay tonight which should be very cool. Phone can't send pictures from here, but will post pics asap.

Wine? Yes please.

2008-05-19T19:38:00.004-04:00

This weekend was the much anticipated "Wine in the Woods" annual event. Buy a wristband, and enjoy free wine tasting for the day. No limit except for your personal tolerance and bladder capacity. They also had some really good food; I myself managed to power stuff two crab cake sandwiches into my gullet in record time because I didn't want to waste too much time away from the free samples. On my way home, I was accosted by a drunken junk mail vendor, a slightly taller but equally belligerent denture model, and a wood elf.

I'm Riiich Beeyatch!!!!!

2008-05-08T20:01:00.007-04:00

Well I knew fortune smiles on the super awesome. After years of wondering when my ship was going to come in, today is the day. I received not one, not two, not three, but FIVE emails of people that want to give me large sums of money. The following is a list of my super-supporters:

$800,000 - Alexandre Bruce - Account Officer, Cotonou, Benin Republic (where in the world?)
Cutting me in on a deal he has been waiting for for quite awhile. I am just glad he decided to share the wealth with me. That was nice of him.

$800,000 - Dr.Paul Ugbagu - Cotonou, Benin Republic
I wonder if he knows Mr. Bruce. either way, I will have to send them both a Christmas card for their random generosity.

$1,500 - Mr Ferdinand Peter - Saudi Arabia
More like Mr. Cheap Ass. Don't you know what kind of wad I am slinging today. Well, this batch will give me something to wipe with.

$7.2M - Barrister Poku Ella - Cotonou, Benin Republic
Booyah! I was randomly selected as next of kin since Poku couldn't track down the actual next of kin. Obviously I will not be using these lazy ass lawyer services. Guess which republic in West Africa this white boy is about to buy? Bonus if you said Cotonou which means 'the mouth of the river of death' in the Fon language. On second thought, maybe I will just buy an arena football team.

$1,955,482.16 - Matilda Peterson - London
This is actually the dollar conversion from £1,000,000. I am not sure how they came to that winning entry since I don't even think they use pounds in Britain anymore. Maybe I could get the winnings in shillings, or better yet, threepennies.

All of this good fortune shining on me gives me a grand total of:

$10,756,982.16

My solid gold toilet is on order now...

Flickr loves me

2008-05-03T13:55:00.002-04:00

At least they do if I am to believe their tagline in their logo. With all of this love floating around, I have decided to link to my Flickr page, which I have finally decided to populate today. You can view it from this link, or you can click on the My Flickr Page link on the right. Either way, you will be treated with a glimpse into my life, which I am sure you are bursting with anticipation to see.

Does this shirt make me look burned?

2008-04-23T16:47:00.004-04:00

Here is me in my debut role as "Unconscious burned victim" for an emergency first response video we shot yesterday. I also got to use my skills in damage makeup to give the other actors various burns, cuts, and scrapes. About 25 extras showed up all needing makeup with 15 minutes to go before the shot, and the other makeup artist and I managed to get them all ready in time. I was rather pleased as was the film crew.

It took me about 1.5 hours to get all the liquid latex off of my arms and chest, as it had gotten nice and matted into the chest and arm hair. It was a most unpleasant experience removing it. I lost some hair and caused some bleeding and bruising in the process. Next time I will try to be more patient and let the adhesive remover do its job before I start ripping.

Questionable Fashion Trends

2008-03-30T23:04:00.004-04:00

Here is a picture of me riding the train to the Cherry Blossom Festival this past weekend, which ended up being more of a downtown DC bar hopping excursion. Some of the fashion choices of people are interesting to say the least, as if that look would be a fashionable one while walking around the nation's capitol.

No Excuse for Poor Design

2008-03-25T23:19:00.008-04:00

I recently read a friends' recent blog post where he decided to show off some of his "artwork". I noticed a few design oversights and thought I would respond to them here at BrainMatters. I have tried to review this as objectively as possible, and have even used some handy critique stickers courtesy of design-police.org to help my points along. To see a larger version of this "book" click on the images.

Cover:

Inside:

I think the critique stickers speak for themselves. I was running out of space for all of the errors I would have liked to point out. But enough of the typography and general design issues, let's talk about the actual artwork.

1. Heart - Uninspired design, copied from centuries of other anatomically inaccurate artists vying for a shot at a sweet deal from Hallmark or any other second hand greeting card vendor. This rendition is really no better than what could be accomplished by a kindergarten student with ADD sitting in the sandbox with a load in his Garanimals.

2. Brang - I am not even sure what a brang is. I have searched a few anatomy books and even Googled it. This site gave alternatives to this alien spelling, and the only word that was related to a body part (and not as an adjective) was listed at NUMBER 20! I will assume you meant brain. The picture however looks more like the item found towards the other end of the body, possibly where your head was when you created this horrible rendition.

3. Tung - Again, I am unfamiliar with the Urban Slang of today's youths, corrupted by spelling lessons from lolcats and unmotivated teachers who put too much reliance on computer spell check. This item looks more like the holy hand grenade sans the pin. Maybeez it mite blowed up ur crap dezinez.

4. Funnbone - Not sure what kind of back alley hack performed the bris on this horror show.

5. Throt - Spellcheck is looking more and more acceptable. Unfortunately the model for this medical rendition, one Mr. Carl T. Suggins, died shortly after posing for this picture. A lifelong smoker, smokeless tobacco user and coal miner, Carl was diagnosed with "throt" cancer, and died after getting hit by a bus crossing the street on his way out of the medical clinic.

6. Blud - As I sit here shaking my head at the spelling of this final piece, I can't help but wonder why, of all the items to color dark on this veritable cornucopia of medical insight, the artist decided to make blood look just like a broken potato chip. Perhaps it was a parallel to the angst of the artist. Or maybe it was an analogy of the broken dreams and excessive grease on the hands of creativity. The lightly salted goodness inherent to the artistic community found only in the single serving vendor bags of life.

Or maybe not. All I know is, I think I need a snack.

Marketing Genius(?) of FIOS

2008-03-07T20:07:00.003-05:00

I enjoy getting things in the mail other than ValPak coupons and the bi-weekly 20% off oversized banner from Bed Bath and Beyond. The exception would be bills, but usually the bulk of my mail consists of poorly printed grocery ads and other miscellaneous JUNK mail. You can imagine my surprise when I received a Priority Mail envelope with "IMPORTANT INFORMATION INSIDE". My first thought was "I wonder how many houses the (fe)mail man skipped to deliver this precious cargo? What could it be? A check from a long lost rich-as-heck uncle, or perhaps a solicitation for advice from Dubya on world affairs, or even an encrypted message from the makers of Ovaltine. "

That thought quickly turned to "If this is so damned important, why was it stuffed into my tiny mailbox at such an angle as to require jaws of life to extract?" Turns out, this important information was nothing more than a cheap ploy to get me to sign up for Verizon FIOS.

The problem is, I already have FIOS.

Now the fact that they send mass marketing items out is not so much an issue, however, the extravagant method of delivery, and the contents of said package are what has my fiber-optic shorts in a wad. Contained in this rather expensive package, were two pieces of paper that looked to have been printed on a low-level inkjet.

Where am I going with this rant? That's a lotta packaging for a glorified memo. Based on current USPS pricing, an envelope of this caliber runs a person about $4.60 to send. Not taking discounts and bulk mail rates into account, let's say Verizon sends a small run of 3000 letters to the area I am in. This is probably a very conservative number. We're looking at $13,800.

I say we take away the marketing budget, and purchase some more decent channels. There are many repeats, about 200 music channels, and about as many useless other random channels. Let's use that money for a good cause. Let's get some more HD channels in the lineup, and I am not talking QVC or Lifetime or Telemundo.

Or at the very least send the money to me. You can even put it in a fancy envelope.

Put up or shut up

2008-02-28T22:59:00.004-05:00

The wife (not pictured) has finally heard enough talk from me about my movie ideas. Notecards, beat sheets, notebooks of ideas, unused lights, tripods, mini DV tapes strewn about. Not to mention the extensive horror make-up kit I purchased at halloween for various bloody zombie carnage that has yet to be filmed. The pic is self applied make up (the zombie, not the pimp-witch next to me). Unfortunately, some of the detail has been sweated off. But it was cool.

Alas, I digress. The wife, as I said, has become increasingly tired of hearing my excuses why I have not created my effects make up video blog, or shot my kick ass zombie short, or filmed ANY of the ideas I have tucked away in my almost full notebook of film ideas, and so, after an aggressive delivery of charlie horses, I am now a member of the DC area digital film meetup as well as a TV production meetup closer to Baltimore. As a proud member of these prestigious groups, I hope to find creative and eager souls to do my bidding... er, I mean collaborate to make some great independent film and video productions. First meeting on Saturday. Sunday I hope to be in pre-production for my first of many films...

Ah, that new car smell of trouble

2008-02-26T09:58:00.003-05:00

After a mere year of life, my brand new Hyundai Santa Fe Limited is having transmission problems. While driving to work yesterday, it seemed to have trouble shifting into the higher gears. When I accelerated to merge into traffic on the highway, the engine light started blinking and a minor rumble started. Not good.

After taking it to the dealership, confident in my highly advertised 10 year/100,000 mile warranty, I was told the new oxygenator and another part sounding word would be covered, but they recommend a transmission flush etc. That, of course will cost me $300.00. I opted against the flush for now.

I have a feeling a month from now, I will wish I had the flush done. I always have a fear that disgruntled automotive repairmen and waiters hang out together. Next thing I know, I will have a transmission casing filled with toenail clippings or some shit like that.

"Well sir, here's your problem. A good flush would have cleared those right out..."

For the Harfatum Septominly challenged

2008-02-22T00:10:00.005-05:00

How incredibly lame I am. Here I am, a graphic designer, and I am too lazy to design my own blog space. I have become victim of the push button ease of today's society.

Take a look at a brilliant video from the dawn of the discovery age. I am referring of course, to the 80's. Look around you. You might learn somethingly math-like.

Best. Message. Ever.

2007-12-07T17:36:00.000-05:00

I found this 404 message on digg.com the other day and since i really like Poe's "The Raven" I thought I would share it.

As the dust settles

2007-11-12T12:31:00.001-05:00

Moving sucks. That's all there is to it. I think I have now officially moved 17 times since I graduated college in '95. Vagabond status still active...

All went well thanks to the help of some friends. Now all that is left is to figure out where everything is amongst the maze of boxes and loose shit that got dumped in the middle of the living room floor (we needed boxes). The guy moving in at the old apartment seemed kind of put off by us taking his boxes since I am sure he had to pay for them. Oh well, dumpster diving pays off occasionally. I also found a betamax player and a toothbrush that was still pretty good.